Reviving the Liver

Wow, I didn’t realize I haven’t posted on here since August.

Feels like every time I wrote a new blog, I started it with the promise that I’d be posting more regularly. But then life gets busy, I miss a few days, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months briefly and confusingly turn back into days, and here we are almost a year later.

I could make a million excuses (I still haven’t really processed 9/11).

But the truth is, I break promises all the time — to my nutritionist, to every dentist I’ve ever had, to that guy whose cat I was supposed to feed, to my future estranged son whose Little League game I will NOT be attending. The list goes on.

As far as promises go, this isn’t a big one to break. No one relies on this blog or needs it to exist. I’m not letting anyone down by disregarding it for months at a time.

I started this blog with the intention of giving people a brief escape. Because the world is, *checks news,* yep, still shitty sometimes. Life is hard. Work sucks. WholeFoods charges $12 for chicken salad.

People need a laugh once in a while and I figured I’m good enough at word writing to get a guffaw or two.

When I stopped writing for stretches of time, I figured no one would really notice and I imagine most people didn’t. This isn’t The Onion despite my persistent auditioning and failed sit-in at their headquarters.

But the last few weeks, I’ve had three separate people come up to me and ask me where the blogs have been. And it was nice to hear that people enjoy them and think about them even though there hasn’t been new content in a bit. So I thanked them and said “oh yeah I’ll start writing again this week.” But I didn’t.

I just did what I do every day. Get up, eat something that’s not breakfast food for breakfast, ignore basic hygiene, work, eat a plate of food that’s just different shades of brown, work some more, eat dinner at 9:30 because Spain is just a mindset, sleep.

But today, for whatever reason, it just hit just me: I am bored as shit.

Thankfully, there’s one other part of my daily routine that I left out — I write things down. Self-deprecating jokes, ideas for sketches, highly impractical business schemes, funny stuff I see on the street, etc. Basically every day.

It’s not for any real purpose, and it’s not deliberate — it’s just how I’ve always been. I see something happening or overhear a conversation and instantly start dissecting it for bits or comedic angles.

My girlfriend says it’s pretty funny or extremely irritating depending on what I’m making fun of/whether or not I forgot her birthday that year.

My therapist says that those Lincoln Logs are for her child patients, stop playing with them, you’re 30, this is avoidance, you’re not helping yourself.

I’ve been writing down bits almost unconsciously for over a decade and want to go back to sharing my ideas — good, bad, and morally repugnant — with you all.

And I still want to deliver on the mission that inspired me to pay a recurring change of $250 for this domain — to give you all a little something to laugh at during a bad day.

Anyways, the point of all of that is to say that I’m officially reviving the Liver — the blog — not the organ which is long beyond saving.

Did this require an entire self-indulgent blog post that at times bordered on teen-lit novel levels of cliché? No.

Did this entire thing kinda read like the inverse of someone posting on Twitter to say they’re leaving Twitter? Yes.

But it seemed like it would be weird to just post like “10 Best Sidney Sweeney sideboob moments” without any ramp-up. Actually, let me write that one down.

I won’t make any promises this time. I won’t post every day and I’ll almost definitely miss a few weeks. Under promise and under deliver, that’s what I say.

But I want to give you guys something — a blog, a video, anything — to look at every now and again and chuckle. And who knows, maybe it will lead to something more down the road.

So hold me accountable — if I’m slacking let me know. If you like something, shoot me a message and ask for more. If you hate it, keep it to yourself and lie to my face because I will fucking shatter at the slightest hint of criticism.

Good to be back, Fatties.